drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
