I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
where am i from again
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
