Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
