If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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