Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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