i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
