Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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