I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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