Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
