this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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