No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
