i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
