I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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