so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
