I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
