Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
