I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
