I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I need moral support for this bender
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
