Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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