When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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