Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is Oprah even human
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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