I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
