Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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