when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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