How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
