We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
