drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
