I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
