What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
