She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
