cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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