Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
