Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
