at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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