I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
