Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
