Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
