"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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