You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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