eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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