Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
