not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
