wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize