as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
