how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
