Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
