I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
