spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
