i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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