winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
