it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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