Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't deserve a penis
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
